


Darling, I'm forever only yours

by lonelymisfit



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Heartbreak, M/M, Making Up, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-10-20 23:29:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10673007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelymisfit/pseuds/lonelymisfit
Summary: Louis knew it was inevitable, He just didn't think he would be the one who ended things.Or the one where Louis and Harry breaks up and One Direction goes on a hiatus.





	Darling, I'm forever only yours

**Author's Note:**

  * For [larrysfran](https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrysfran/gifts).



> I am truly one of many who believe in the trials and tribulations of a strong bond and the fact that I get to test that with larry is just exceptional to me. I did do a break up fic once but I can't get enough so here's another. 
> 
> This is in no way affliated with the real people. The time frame for these events is incorrect and I may have changed the order in which they happen so don't point them out and say I'm wrong (I know what I'm doing.)
> 
>  
> 
> The title comes from Michael Buble's Someday. 
> 
>  
> 
> \\\Dedicated to Francesca.// Hope I did this one justice for you it was really hard for me to write...Happy Belated Birthday amore :) xoxo

Not the typical average day in the life of Louis Tomlinson which involves sound checking and prancing on a stage singing the same fucking songs over and over again and do not get the wrong idea about this, he loves what he does, he loves to sing, he loves to interact with the fans but not when his own dream turned into something more or less of a chore.

The other boys notice his displeasure but even if they did they never said a thing about it. Harry would give him long looks and he knows the words are just on the tip of his tongue but he never says anything just puts a smile on his face and kisses Louis. He appreciates it but everything for the past five years is building up inside him and it's almost reached to the surface and he knows any time now it can turn into something ugly. The thing is, it isn't so much of the dream he's tired of, or his bandmates not even his team it's the manipulating cocksuckers that think he's some puppet they can control, a mere object they can move around.

The dream turned sour when things started getting serious with him and Harry and no one was expecting everything to happen that fast. Not even Louis. But how can it not when it's _Harry_. Harry with that bright smile always looking at Louis like he was the sun and Harry who just gives and never expects anything back, always putting other people before himself, always making sure everyone was smiling, filling them up with his love and radiance, Louis sat there one day watching him relay a fucking chicken alfredo recipe to their sound guy, Louis doesn't even know his name but Harry stood there talking his head off with that smile on display, his dimples out and eyes glistening like it was the only thing that mattered. Louis had stared at him until he was finished, hugging the man and walking back to the couches where Louis was. He sat down next to him not saying a word, still smiling watching Louis with intent and all that he could think of was  _I would do anything for you_ and _I am so in love with you._ It only hit Louis like a fucking train turning to look at Harry the words having left his mouth without accord, the look on Harry's face still embedded in his mind till this very day. Harry cried for three hours and kept telling Louis how he doesn't understand how he can be in love with him and all Louis could do was think the very same thing. To be worthy of Harry Styles and his selfless love, he doesn't feel very deserving but he's more than thankful all the same.

It's why he's sitting here now, in the same shabby room with the black curtains and the filter of voices that drown out because all he can focus on right now is Harry. It's always been Harry. Currently, he's standing across the hall talking to Liam looking invested at whatever he's telling him and Louis sits on this dusty couch while Niall is beside him strumming his guitar waiting for the call to start the show. And it's a normal occurrence, something they have been doing since the beginning of any tour, this one being the forth yet the whole atmosphere to Louis makes him feel sick. Seeing Harry talk with the little glint in his eyes and the cock of his hips is sickening, having to listen to Niall go on and on about different strings he's playing makes him feel nauseous and he cannot help the scowl on his face as if any of it is their fault. Harry must sense his bad mood because he frowns in that fucking endearing way and stops talking to Liam entirely and walks over to sit next to Louis.

"Are you okay baby?" he whispers which Louis really doesn't understand why since all of the people in this room knows they fuck but he thinks maybe Harry knows how fucking agitated he would get if he did in fact say it out loud. Either way Louis has to take a deep breath before and even if he thought doing so would ease the coursing anger he felt inside it only served to rile him up more and _fuck_ , why was he this mad? Maybe his anger derived from earlier when Magee and co. told him the fantastic news. He's going to be a father. Not that this was bad news it would have been if he did in fact shoved his dick in a moist vagina and got the girl knocked up but fuck no he didn't. He didn't have to apparently since there are scums of the earth who get paid for pretending to be a musician's baby mama. Shocking this shit isn't on Craig’s list but he wouldn't be surprised if it was. Anyway so yeah some dumb bitch he hasn't even met or seen is supposed to be carrying his child and for what it's worth all he can think of is this will benefit him in the future.

And now he's watching Harry who's pouting, the crease between his eyebrows so deep it should be illegal how adorable he looks, the taunting feeling makes Louis' head spin because that is not a face he likes to see Harry wear.

"I take it the meeting didn't go too well" He tries to scuff but Harry doesn't scuff, he grumbles yeah but it's more of an airy sound, far from intimidating and normally Louis would melt and kiss away his frown but now the voice tears something inside his body and he knows that there is nothing anyone can do or say to make this feeling go away.

Of course Harry knows about the meetings, he's part of this and usually the both of them would be present, only today Louis assured him that he could handle it and Simon and his pound of dogs brushed Harry off and said to his face might he add, that he was not needed. Louis is still surprised he didn't fucking rip Simon's titty implant out for talking to Harry like that and now he's regretting it.

 _"Lou_ " It's pathetic, how he whines, the way he places his hands on Louis' thighs gently stroking up and down, how he leans closer to brush his lips across Louis' face, his nose scratching against his cheek almost sniffing, breathing in the scent of Louis, the way he shifts so he can tuck Louis in his arms or the way he slides his hands through the thin tank top Louis has on to run his fingers down his lower back. Louis wants to cry, the anger inside him ceasing and is replaced with sorrow. His throat restrict when Harry kisses the spot just below his ear and tucks his face in the crook of Louis' neck, whispering _shh_ and _it's alright baby_ because of course he can read Louis like a fucking book.

"You don't have to talk just nod to let me know you're alright" It's so soft and Louis closes his eyes not able to look at Harry, instead he's thinking how on earth is he going to tell him about this-this fucking brilliant plan they have devised or how Harry's face would contort when he does actually tell him, how he'll react, how would he take it and Louis needs to leave. He has to come out of this restricted space and get some fresh air, he needs to be alone. He makes a frail attempt to push Harry off him but that serves for Harry to only pull him in tighter and it's suffocating only making the thick rage awake in his body again.

"Fucking let go of me" Before he knows what he's doing he stumbles out of Harry's arms and stands. A quick glance around and yes everyone is looking at him. Niall is probably the most emotional because even though Louis never actually snaps at Harry, Niall looks like a frightened child witnessing his parents fight for the first time. Immediately Liam comes to hold Louis' arm, Harry already looking like he's about to start crying stands and shakes his head at Liam.

"Take another step forward and I'll rip you another arsehole" Where in fuck's name did he even get that kind of vocabulary from he doesn't know but it seems to work since Liam backs the fuck up and Niall is watching with his mouth open.

"Lou-" He smacks Harry's hand away when he tries to hold him. He knows Liam is itching by his side wanting so badly to interject and Louis is praying he says something so he can let out all of this steam, but Liam just stares.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong" Why is Harry still talking he really doesn't know, why he's still standing here and listening to it he doesn't know, why he feels the surging force to hit something he doesn't know either but it makes him see blurry. He needs to get out of here, walk through that fucking door, do not say a word, go cool down, have a smoke, call up Zayn, fuck something else rather than stand here and start an argument with Harry.

"Are you really choosing right now to have this conversation?" Instead what he does is answer. Harry's eyes flicker with doubt for just a second before turning back to him with determination and Louis knows Harry isn't someone to take "no" lightly. So much for this ending soon.

"I have to Louis, obviously you're upset" And before Louis can reply to him Niall is the one who saves the day, well try to anyway.

“Harry why don’t you just come with me” He makes to grab Harry’s arm and this isn’t what Louis was expecting to happen, he still needs to leave but he feels himself relax knowing he doesn’t have to face Harry. He thinks Harry goes to comply as he looks long and hard at Louis, he can feel his eyes bore into his skull but he dares not watch as Niall pushes him along.

“You always do this” Louis tenses, Harry sounds so broken and tired, drawn down, “lock me out” and it’s breaking Louis even more because this isn’t Harry’s fault, this isn’t anyone’s fault but his own. Louis doesn’t know how to handle situations and even if he thinks it is better to keep things to himself hoping it would be for the best it just ends up being worse. And he knows Harry, even when he pushes him out he stays, when he cries and begs Harry to leave him alone he doesn’t listen and even if at the time he thinks it’s what he really wants it also turns out it’s just Harry that he needs no matter how much he says he doesn’t. But that’s the thing right? He needs Harry so much it’s become suffocating, he doesn’t know how to do anything without Harry and it’s unfair and selfish. It’s why the next few words that leave his mouth hurt him more than it ever intended to hurt Harry.

“If you don’t like it you can leave no one is stopping you” He spits, his throat burning with the words, his chest constricting as he finally turns to face Harry who looks like he’s just been slapped.

“Bullshit” Liam interjects coming to stand between the small space separating Louis and Harry.

“Mind your business Liam” Louis seethes trying to look intimidating his jaws hurt from clenching them together so tightly. Breathe.

“Is this your pathetic attempt of a break up?” And no that is definitely not what he meant but Harry is crying as he says it, Niall is watching like they’re all speaking words he doesn’t understand and Liam is cool as a cat. He’s clearly not fazed by Louis’ behaviour. No matter how angry Louis feels he never once suggested that they break up, they argue but it’s not as bad as it is now, mostly about Louis leaving his shoes by the door or forgetting to pick up Brussel sprouts from the grocery. They’ve never had a reason to turn things drastic, Louis do tend to throw tantrums and he has an act for being overly dramatic, like the time he spent half an hour away from Harry trying to prove to him that he did not need to hug Harry to fall asleep which well he lasted for thirty minutes before caving and calling Harry to come pick him up from the stupid hotel he booked, clutching onto him like he haven’t seen him in years. So yeah they fight like that but never have they mentioned the B word. And it worries Louis to no end as to why now Harry chose to bring that up, why did he even think Louis would break up with him.

Harry definitely hit a nerve from the way Louis’ face fall but in all honesty he just thought of the vilest thing so he can at least get a reaction from Louis. He’s been acting up these past few days, lashing out at everyone like he was hiding something. Staying silent at dinners when he’s the one that keep everyone entertained, declining movie night because he was too tired or not in the mood and Harry never pushed. He needed space clearly and Harry gave him it. Harry suspected his sour mood was because of his recent visit to the _gods above_ and it’s only logic that Harry would like to know how that meeting went if Louis came out looking like he’s sucking on lemons.

Approaching Louis like this is the only way Harry knew how to, slow and patient. A lot of patience. Louis is stubborn and he will never admit out loud what’s wrong with him, he’ll never tell if something is wrong and tries to fix it himself no matter how many times Harry has assured him that it was okay to get him involved. That’s what couples do, that’s what he wants, to know everything about Louis and seeing him upset affects him, all he wants is to erase that. Make it better. Now he’s looking at Harry like it’s such a ridiculous thing to even say, to even think that he would even consider ending this is preposterous but it feels exhilarating watching Louis shift under his hard stare and melting into goo and Harry thinks he’s done it, that this will make him talk…finally. He watches Louis open his mouth and closes it all the same repeating the action a few more times before swallowing and presses his lips together.

“Harry come on let’s go” Niall’s voice cuts the silence in the room, all the other people continuing while Harry and Louis seems frozen. The look Louis is giving him right now isn’t something he can really describe and what’s worse than the piercing look is the silence. Louis is never silent.

Louis shakes his head in annoyance breathing out heavily through his nose, he needs to move, so he does heading quietly to the doors trying to avoid Harry’s burning stare.

“If you take one more step Louis we’re over” and it’s unfair. Not only does the words stir an uncomfortable feeling within his stomach it’s the tone in which Harry said it. Almost as if he’s challenging Louis, he wants this to turn into something ugly, to stir more than just hidden emotions, he wants to rip the bandage off and hear the screams, he wants to feel the hurt and he wants to react. More than anything Louis knows Harry is just trying to make him talk.

His overbearing emotions have subsided however and inside he feels hallow and empty, he feels nothing. It’s why when he continues to walk he doesn’t react to the look Niall gives him or he doesn’t turn to catch what Harry was doing, he doesn’t bother to listen to Liam shouting in his ear, all the words muffled. It’s only when the cold wind hits his overheating body when he steps outside, the world from here seems different, his emotions rush back to him and that’s when he breaks down. Holding onto his face as the tears spill out without stopping burning his eyes and blurring his vision, his throat restrict and he coughs up trying to rid the sick twist in his stomach. What did he just do?

 

…

 

It’s been an insufferable two weeks since the backstage incident and the tension off stage definitely showed on as well. Avoiding each other at any cost even though in some instances the other boys try to not so subtly get them together in a room alone only turning futile with their attempts.

Niall was affected the most Louis thinks, always moping around and giving him sad eyes when Harry complained about feeling cold or that Harry hasn’t eaten in so many days. Louis would just roll his eyes and walk out the room or area or whatever just so he doesn’t have to hear Niall’s whining voice telling him to just go talk to Harry.

It was better this way.

He figured if they weren’t a couple anymore then this whole ridiculous idea of him becoming a father would fade, Harry and him would work things out in the future and everything would go back to normal except it didn’t. When he approached Simon and the heads to tell them about the split this is how it went.

 

“What do you mean you broke up with Harry?” Magee with a very unimpressed look stalks around his office, while Nancy, his assistant fetches coffee for the lot in this tiny room.

“Is it that hard to comprehend?” Louis waves his hands around, Okay calm down he thinks, he was supposed to make this look believable and so far no one is buying it. “Harry and I ended things.” Richard, Magee’s right hand snorts pushing his glasses to settle on the bridge of his nose.

“I understand that our approach with the pregnancy was not the best way possible but it doesn’t mean you have to lie your way out of this”

“I’m not lying is the thing, call Harry in ask him yourself, we are not together” Louis huffs taking a seat just as Nancy returns to hand him a cup of coffee.

“Very well then” He presses the intercom telling the person on the other end to go fetch Harry just in the music room down the hall apparently. Why was he even here? Fuck, Louis didn’t think this through, he didn’t actually want Harry in the same room with him right now. But he hasn’t spoken to Harry since so he doesn’t know what he’s been up to, where he’s staying – home or a hotel- Louis decided he’d crash with Niall since he didn’t want to be in a house that was _theirs._

Before he can even come up with possible ways to prevent this, Harry walks into the room, his head cast down as he quietly makes his way to sit on the chair on the other side of the room, far away from Louis.

“So Harry mind explaining to me what is it that’s happening with regards to your relationship with Louis?”

Harry’s head shoots up at that, briefly locking eyes with Louis then back at Magee and Richard.

“Uh” Louis can already feel his heart breaking, he didn’t think actually hearing Harry speak about the spilt would break him but yet here he is. Up until now Harry has been silent, he doesn’t talk to anyone with regards to their relationship and everyone knew better than to bring it up with him. He braces himself for the next few words to come spilling from Harry’s mouth. “Louis and I-“he swallows “we-“creases his eyebrows looking uncomfortable, shifting in his seat. His gaze finds Louis with a desperate look of _don’t make me say it_ clear as day.

“We’re not together” Louis finishes and even though he tries to make his voice sound firm it ends up coming out soft, almost above a whisper, like the words burn his lips to say, hurting having to repeat it yet again to Harry’s face.

Harry stares at him, his frown not easing up as Richard clears his throat to rid Louis of the nostalgic feeling he’s experiencing right now. He wanted this to end immediately.

“So I guess that’s it then?” Richard addresses Magee who is perched on his arm chair like a king, a spawn a Satan more like, Louis thinks as Magee rocks back on his seat folding his hands together as he goes.

“They’re both still in the closet, and even if the relationship has ended we all know Louis is prone to recklessness. We cannot afford another grand speculation on this matter. As far as the world knows, Louis Tomlinson is straight and I’d like to keep it that way.”

Louis feels sick, he can barely feel anything other than disgust right now, Harry is watching him confused and Simon just won’t say a word.

“What about Styles?” The devil finally speaks. He looks over to Harry who isn’t even bothering with their conversation his gaze stuck on Louis who’s trying his best not to fidget or just get up and act “reckless.”

“I’ve already contacted the Jenner’s she’s agreed to renew her contract whenever we’re ready”

Jenner? Are they really bringing back Kendall fucking Jenner? Not that Louis despises her, she’s fucking fantastic really but not when it’s involving her “work” ethics with his fucking boyfriend. _Ex_ -boyfriend, Harry is his ex-boyfriend now. Louis sneers at Simon.

“So we should go ahead with the Jungwirth story then? For Tomlinson?” What the fuck is a Jungle worm? Magee nods and Richard writes something down in that black fucking diary he carries around.

“I’ll have Nancy deal with it” Nancy perks up from her seat nodding at Magee and Richard before sauntering outside the room.

“Wait, what plan?” Harry finally opens his mouth, looking perplexed now from Magee to Richard to Simon and then finally to Louis. It just dawned on Louis that Harry doesn’t know about this baby gate fiasco yet and it chills him to the bones.

Magee got that smug look on his face now like he finally figured out everything. Fuck. Louis is beginning to sweat not trying to look affected by his nasty glare. Play it cool Tommo, he's bluffing.

"Mr. Styles tell me, do you have any idea why you're even here right now?" Louis' eyes widen, he swallows hard and watches Harry as all the attention falls on him. The room is silent waiting for his response and Louis knows if he is the one who speaks now he will only dig this hole deeper.

"You wanted to know my current relationship status?" Louis smiles because even though Harry practically walked in here blind he knew better than to give anyone of these assholes the satisfaction of having the upper hand.

"Alright tell me something then, why did you and Louis end things?" Louis feels himself stop breathing, he can feel his heart beat rabbiting hard against his ears. Calm down dammit, he tries to convince himself, they have no right to know any of this. It was between him and Harry. They broke up end of story, they do not need to know how, when and why.

 "That's none of your business" Louis finds his voice spitting harshly at Magee making Simon roll his eyes and Richard to snort under his breath. Louis turns to finally look at Harry, rubbing his hands together and playing with the many rings Louis himself has gifted him throughout the years. "You don't have to tell them anything this is between us" He says it firm so Harry can understand and do not crack under the circumstance. Harry do tend to give in to other people's demands even if it means leaving him in shambles. He's always been a people pleaser.

"Enough! Someone please escort Mr. Tomlinson out of my office immediately" Magee bellows as if Louis was in any way affected. (Maybe a little but no one needed to know) Nancy gets up gesturing for Louis to follow her out the door. He just shakes his head and walks out.

Now that Harry was alone in this room with them he felt very suffocated, usually during these meetings, Louis would be the spokesperson for both of them, always answering and rejecting, questioning and arguing, putting up a fight, while he would squeeze Louis' hand encouraging him but he never interjected because he didn't have to. Louis had everything under control.

"Harry it's quite alright to talk about things like this with us. I have assured you so many times before. We are here for your benefit" Simon is talking out of his ass and Harry briefly watches the door hoping Louis would burst through and tell Simon to suck his ass, and not literally, Harry would never let _that_ happen.

"I'm still trying to get used to the feeling of not being in a long term relationship Simon and I'm sorry if I may come off as being rude but I just don't feel very comfortable talking about it right now." Always so polite. Why can't he just say what he's really thinking? _Fuck you Simon, you white devil!_

"Fair enough Harry but we called in both of you today because I've mentioned to Louis what we had planned for the upcoming months since Miss Calder ended her contract with us. He's been very hesitant to the matter and we were hoping you can help shed some light to the situation."

"I'm sorry but I just told you Louis and I are not together anymore, as in we are not a couple. And I don't know if you know how break up works but I really just need some time alone"

"Harry I understand bu-"

"Do you really?" Fuck. He can feel the tears burn his eyes already. He was so weak. He breathes in trying to compose himself. "I'm sure you're glad this didn't work out. That you don't have to deal with us again but I cannot breathe without him, everything I have ever known is him and you just called me here when he just fucking broke up with me to tell me to help you convince him to go into another fucking relationship with a stranger." He was full on crying now, his face soaked, his vision blurred. He throws his hands over his face not being able to hold back any longer.

He hears murmurs around the room followed by a few deep sighs before he feels a hand on his back. He doesn't look up.

"Come talk to me when you're ready" It's Simon's voice. He hears the door open and then closes a few seconds after, before he raises his head to find himself alone in an empty room, significant of the feeling he felt inside too.

 

 

...

 

Louis wasn't one to sulk and he definitely wasn't doing so since "the thing" is what he calls it now because according to him if he doesn't say his name then it would hurt less and even though that was a lie he continued on with it. Niall was getting tired of his shit, he can tell whenever he comes home only to find Louis under boxes of Dominos in his temporary make shift bed on his sofa. This is definitely temporary he'd always tell Niall who would just look at him like he had a thousand things on the tip on his tongue but just ends up shaking his head and walking off. Louis felt pathetic. He's been a nuisance in Niall's life and it's just so hard trying to go through a break up when the other person is in the same circle of friends as him. Louis was running out of excuses when the boys would invite him out to dinner, it was always "No I have this thing" and even though the boys saw through his lie they accepted it. He's been putting off seeing Harry for the past few days, locking himself inside Niall's flat and hiding his phone so he won't do anything stupid like call up Harry and tell him he was feeling cold and needed his body heat or even worse that he misses him and loves him to death.

Right now he's pretending to watch television but he has no clue what's happening. Some superhero movie Niall recorded. He sighs closing his eyes for a moment when he hears the front door open.

"Get the fuck up right now we're going out" Niall's very loud voice echoes the halls and his ear drums.

"Niall please shut up I'm trying to sleep" He can tell Niall is unimpressed even though he can't see him.

"I just called up Luke and he wanted to hang tonight" With that Louis' eyes open. Because what? Niall laughs coming over to sit next to him on the couch moving his limbs so he can get comfortable. "Yes Louis, Hot Luke from back in Secondary" As if he was reading Louis' mind. Okay so the story with _Hot Luke_ was that Louis had a giant crush on him back in the day, it was because of this intense crush that Louis had finally admitted to Stan that he was gay, so this boy is a huge deal to Louis. Although things didn't really develop between them, since Louis applied for X factor and Luke moved to Cali to start uni.

"How did you even get in contact with him?" He remembers how he'd always tease Harry about this boy waiting for him in LA that he was sure would turn serious if they won't in a relationship and Harry would just laugh like that was the most outrageous thing and that it will never happen and Louis knew that but he also thought him and Harry would never break up so there's that.

"Stan" Niall brushes him off like it's the most obvious thing. He's picking at Louis' hoodie and Louis feels strange since this is probably the only human contact he's had since a month. A fucking month without Harry.

"And you just thought I'd rush to the opportunity of hooking up with Hot Luke when I practically just got out of a relationship" Niall hums not watching Louis, his eyes stuck on the television.

"Well I'm just organising this meeting what you do is all up to you"

"So you're not even going?" Niall gets up pushing Louis legs on the ground, the very fucking freezing ground.

"Just get dressed headass Stan and Oli would be here in the next hour" He leaves without saying another word. It takes Louis an hour contemplating whether to get up from this sofa another fifteen minutes to actually shower and put on clothes, Stan and Oli practically forcing him into the van, he knew it was pointless to keep resisting, this was happening whether he liked it or not.

The club was crowded obviously but they used Louis' name and got a VIP room to hang. Oli introduced him to his date and cousin who seemed more interested in knowing who he was than Oli but he couldn't even be bothered when Niall lied about Hot Luke actually being here. He's going to kill him.

"So Oli told us that this tour is probably your biggest is that right?" The blond chick was annoying, her voice even though he could barely hear because of the music was still too high pitched for his liking and she kept rubbing her breasts on his arm which made him squirm to Stan's side even more.

"Yeah" He tries to dismiss her with one word responses but it seemed to intrigue her even more than ever. She just wouldn't stop asking him questions, money related questions, and Louis knew there was just one thing she wanted and she wasn't going to get it, from him at least.

"I see your cup is empty another drink?" She gestures for her cousin sitting next to Oli to pass the bottle pouring one out for herself and then for Louis. Stan laughs beside him not bothering to intervene when Oli comes up to them.

"A gay man getting all the ladies? I've never had that happen to me before" He slaps Louis on the shoulders and even though comments like that didn't affect Louis, he somehow felt the bitterness in Oli's voice.

"Louis' always been a people person so fuck off Oliver!" Stan always to the rescue. He smiles at him for a moment before looking out on the dancefloor to catch a tall dark haired stranger, shirtless and grinding up on another man. Louis felt his throat restrict. The stranger was beautiful he could tell and he hadn't seen his face yet, but his back muscles stretched with every move he made, his moves so graceful and seductive. Louis felt light headed as he tried to look away.

"That fucker s'ready on the dancefloor!" Stan huffs out pointing to the tall stranger. "Ay pussy boy! Over here!" Oli calls out and immediately the man turns to look at them on the other side of the room. Louis freezes because the boy he had a crush on in secondary school had nothing on the man in front him. He's even more breath taking than Louis remembered.

Luke smiles leaving the man he was dancing with to make his way to them. He puts his t shirt back on when he comes, the blond girl who was crowding Louis finally let her attention go on Luke and he doesn't blame her, everyone was watching him.

"Luke you remember Louis right?" Fuck. Right, play it cool. Louis smiles easy as Luke drinks him in seeming pleased with what he saw.

"I can never forget that ass" If it wasn't for Stan holding him up he would surely be on the floor right now. "Or that face, God you look so hot" he walks up to Louis and moves the bit of fringe off his face. "Always had the most beautiful eyes" This was a bit too much for Louis, of course Luke was hot and of course Louis had some sort of attraction to him but the way he was approaching Louis right now made him feel cheap and definitely on the road to being just another name on the list of Hot Luke's one night stands. And he isn't expecting a marriage proposal but it's just been so different when he and Harry were together. They beat around the bush for almost a year before actually saying they liked one another, Harry was just so shy when it came to things like that and Louis was not any better. So this straight forwardness kind of put Louis off a bit.

"It's good to see you too Luke" Louis settled on just being friendly with the guy. It's his call if he wants this night to advance to something between him and Luke so no pressure. Even though he's positive nothing will happen, he just couldn't see himself being like that with a person who wasn't Harry.

The night went on amazingly after that though, shots came and they drank all of it, Louis felt himself loosen up after the first few pulling Luke beside him dancing and tucking his spinning head into his sweaty neck. He didn't even mind the blond chick who he still doesn't know what her name was, taking drinks when she hands him and even dancing with her when she claimed the song that was playing was her favourite. It was a good night and in the morning Louis would not remember none of it.

 

...

 

"You all set for the gym Haz?" Harry was going insane strolling through his phone looking at the set of pictures from the club and seeing Louis so out of it and having fun with his friends when he was this sad puppy always moping around and not knowing what to do anymore. It hurt, no it fucking hurt seeing him flirty with other people and Harry would know because it was the same way he used to look at him. The same glint in his eyes and the same crinkly smile, he stares at the picture Louis posted with the tall stranger so close to him and holding his waist that Harry felt every remaining piece of his heart shatter all over again.

"Harry" the voice drawls "I'm not getting any younger pal let's get a move on before the sun comes out" he rolls over looking at Nick by the door. He really doesn't feel like getting up and he really doesn't feel like going outside right now he just wants to sit here and sulk trying to figure out what went wrong. Nick seems to sense his displeasure though scuffing and rolling his eyes at Harry's obvious childish behaviour.

"Listen" Harry puts the pillow over his face to try and drown out Nick's inevitable speech about Louis. "That's very rude" He smacks the pillow and throws it off Harry's face and onto the floor. "The best way to get over a break up is to keep yourself occupied" He pulls Harry's hands so he's now sitting on the bed.

"You don't get it Nicholas he-'

"He's your everything, apple of your eye blah blah blah" Nick dismisses him and it settles something very nasty in Harry. He knew over the years Nick and Louis never saw eye to eye but he just thought it was all friendly banter, Louis never told him off for hanging out with Nick and Nick knew better than to say what he was really thinking about Louis to Harry. Even now when he doesn't have Louis Nick had no right to talk about him.

"I told you not to talk about him lik-"

"Like that yeah I get it, now can we go?" Harry shakes his head flopping back on the bed covering his head so Nick was out of sight.

"Just leave"

"Fine drama queen have it your way" Nick snarls slamming the door as he left. Now that he was alone again he couldn't help but think of Louis and the fact that he can still go out and have fun, be unaffected and not even think of Harry. He hasn't tried to call and Harry was too coward to make the first move. He knew Louis had to make the decision for contact because he was the one that ended things, even though Harry wanted to call and text every  second of every hour and every day he just couldn't do it, knowing it would be left unread or unanswered, fearing that Louis didn't feel the same way he was feeling right now. Like literal death. He lay there for what felt like ages, memories flooding back to him all in an instant, the first time he taught Louis how to knit and the many needle pricks Harry had to kiss, the time when Louis bought him a simple silver band from their first trip to Barcelona with the promise of eternal love, the time when Harry had first met Louis in the X factor toilet and Louis insisted on taking a picture with him and getting his autograph because he was sure Harry would be a superstar someday, the many times Louis would kiss him just to calm his nerves before he goes on stage, or the simple things like always waiting for Harry to finish in interviews even when he drawls his words and everyone talks over him how Louis always stir the conversation back to him so he can finish answering or how Louis would genuinely laugh when he says the most ridiculous things that Liam and Niall call absurd but Louis would brush them off and say it was funny, or just going home and seeing Louis in his clothes that he insists on wearing because it smells like him, or running hot baths so Louis can message him after a long day, playing the piano while he does riffs of lyrics the two of them come up with together, watching tv but focusing more on Louis' facial expressions. He felt so damaged and the pain was still so raw but he thought it was better to feel rather than to be swallowed by the unknown.

 

 

It didn't make things any better when Nick came back a short while after dark, kicking off his sneakers and coming straight in Harry's room to find him still in bed with the same clothes as this morning.

"It smells like death in here" Nick dramatically covers his nose going over to open the window. It's fucking freezing outside but the harsh wind served well cooling his burning skin. "I'm not sure how much longer Fifi would allow you to live here if you keep the place like this!" He gestures around the room "this isn't like you Styles, come on" He pulls the blanket off Harry revealing his exposed body to the chilling breeze. Maybe he should leave here, find a hotel stay a couple days, or maybe he could crash at Liam's for a while he heard talk Louis was staying with Niall, which well, Niall the traitor, but he understood, Niall has always been team Louis since the beginning, come to think of it they've all been team Louis since the beginning. He just knew he couldn't stand Nick Grimshaw right now and his insistent behaviour of doing _things._

"If we go out would you shut up?" Harry barks sitting up. Nick seems surprised by this but doesn't back track which was surprising to Harry but then again nothing really surprises Nick anyway.

"Alright I wasn't planning to but I'll go get dressed" That is another instant where Harry should keep his mouth shut now he's stuck with going out when in the first place he just wanted to be left alone.

 

The club scene has never been Harry's scene, however the place Nick takes him is far more deserving than sweaty bodies gyrating on each other under coloured lights because Nick has taken him into a gay bar. So its sweaty bodies gyrating on each other times ten. It's much more elaborate than the average night club and far less people present save for the small groups crowding the dancers on stage. Nick seems to know a lot of them (of course) passing out kisses and hugs as he goes. A small brunette boy catches Harry's eye by the bar, Nick trailing his eyes also looking at the boy. He smiles patting Harry on the shoulder shoving him towards the bar.

"Hi this is my good friend Harry, he's recently single and definitely looking for a pringle so maybe you can help with that" Nick is so infuriating. Harry looks at the stunned boy in front him, too afraid to say anything and honestly Harry would have never gone up to the boy if it wasn't for Nick.

"Y-You're Nick Grimshaw" the boy squeaks not believing what is happening. Nick extends his hands to the boy smiling basking in the glory that the boy actually knew who he was. Nick was definitely blinded by the fame.

"In the flesh sweetie" The boy hesitates to shake his hand, Harry has to look away but he cannot when the boy in question has that soft swept fringe like a certain someone had during X factor.

 "A-And H-Ha-Harry" So he did know who Harry was too.

"Hi it's nice to meet you" Always so polite.

"Oh my god I can't believe this is happening! I have to tell my friends!" And this is exactly what Harry had feared would happen when he went out, people recognising him, tweeting his location, that sort of thing, always bombarded and treated like an object to the public, he knew he should have stayed home. Well Nick's home.

"Oh god sweetie don't do that then this place would be overcome with commoners, we don't want that" Nick is used to this, he's so good with people that's one thing Harry admires in him a lot, that and his incredible taste in fashion of course.

"I just can't beli- wait! Are you two dating?" Now why the boy would even ask that when the first opening sentence to him was Harry was single. Nick was a very close friend he would leave it at that.

"Not really into pop stars" Nick answers making Harry snort.

"So then Larry is real?" Harry felt his entire being shut down, no come alive. He loves when people talk about him and Louis, he loves how they support and love them together. Harry looks away trying to hide his smile.

"Why don't you buy me a drink first?" Nick tells the boy spinning them both to face the bar already beaconing the bartender to order. That leaves Harry to sulk, looking around to take in this place fully. It really is amazing and he's thankful the lights aren't too bright so no one can actually tell it's him from far.

The night goes on and Nick leaves the place with two boys in his arms. Harry and the cute brunette who Harry learnt his name was Scott. It would be a loud night at Nick's flat tonight but he's happy at least one of them got laid. That was the whole objective to this outing after all.

 

 

...

 

Louis woke up the day after with a terrible headache turning in his bed feeling hot all over and suffocating only to find himself tucked under Hot Luke. He almost screamed when the man beside him is still asleep but naked saved for the little white sheet covering his ass cheeks. Louis felt upset he crawled out of bed not trying to think too hard about what had happened as he makes his way downstairs to hear Niall's voice loud as the morning and to his surprise Liam in the kitchen eating breakfast.

 

"Look who's up"

"Good morning sleeping beauty" They both greet him as he comes to take a seat next to Liam who pours him out some cereal and milk in a bowl. Niall goes over to get his tea.

"I feel so sick" He puts his head down on the kitchen counter trying to ease the scorching pain rushing up to his head.

"Here take these" Niall hands him some painkillers and water downing it all in one go. Now with silence he knew he had to address the elephant in the room. Why was hot Luke sleeping naked in his bed? The guest bed that Niall warned him about before he moved in, that it was for when his nephew came over and now Louis went and taint the little boy's room with smells of sex and deceit.

"I can barely remember what happened last night" That seemed to throw Liam over the edge perking up when Louis moves his head off the table.

"Here see if this jogs your memory" He pushes his phone in Louis' face, the light hurting his eyes as he tries to squint to take in the pictures presented to him.

It a group shot of all of them, Luke, Oli, him, Briana was it? The blond girl and her cousin. Luke had his hands on Louis' waist and the post came from his very own Instagram.

"I'm not finished" Liam says taking back the phone scrolling and then shoving it back to Louis. This one was a video, of a very fucking high Louis exiting the club. None of his friends were there, not Luke or Oli just him and the blond girl. She was holding his hand escorting him to the black van when the paps were taking pics asking him how his night went. Louis being Louis mumbles something he himself doesn't understand flipping the paps before entering the van where Oli and Calvin? Where the fuck did he appear from and Luke was already seated. The van was full and Louis just made his way to Calvin's lap closing the door quickly before the paps got more pics. He was so ashamed looking back at it now.

"Wait that's not the best part" Alright he doesn't know how this can get any worse. Liam pulls up an article by the fucking Sun, the headline reads " _Wild night with Louis Tomlinson"_  and under read: **how this LA makeup beauty became the 1D's new girl.** And it's the picture of him and Briana leaving the club. He feels sick scrolling down to read the rest of the article.

 

_"...the pair has been very low-key with their relationship for some months after Louis recently called it quits with longtime girlfriend Eleanor Calder. Reps for both teams say it's nothing serious but it looks like a very promising future for the pair. Leave us your comments on what you think about this new budding romance between Briana Jungwirth and Louis Tomlinson below."_

Jungwirth? Why was that name so familiar, he's heard it before he's sure but he can't really place from where. He's got much bigger things to worry about though, now the world thinks he's fucking some girl whose name he doesn't even know only thanks to the newspaper. This is terrible and he knows he's going to get the call soon.

 

"Louis this is so reckless of you honestly did you even think of the consequen-" Liam is cut off when Luke enters the kitchen naked.

"Uh I'm sorry I don't know where my clothes went" Niall starts laughing and Liam covers his eyes, Luke just casually standing there butt naked and glowing.

"Come on Macho man I'll get you some clothes" Niall escorts him out the room, Liam breathing out with ease turning back to Louis.

" _And_ you slept with Luke?!" Well he wasn't sure since he was fully clothed but Luke was naked so he shakes his head. Liam pulls on his hair. "Did you for once think how this must make Harry feel?"

"Harry?" Louis feels his spine tingle, it's the first time in weeks since he has spoken his name, the same heady feeling returning to his body. He didn't like it at all. "What does this have to do with him? I can do what I want, we are no longer together Liam or did you fucking forget that?"

"And how would you feel if this was Harry instead of you? Would you be okay with that?" He felt his body go rigid, just the idea of Harry being with somebody else scared Louis and he knew Liam was right. He acted stupidly and got himself in this giant mess.

"I just don't know what I'm doing Liam" He drops his head in his hands in defeat feeling the tears prick his eyes and he will not cry, he did this.

"I know it's hard" Liam is much softer now, he feels his hands on his back rubbing soothingly "but I just don't think doing this would make you forget him" And he knows that, there in nothing Louis can do that would make him forget Harry and what they had what they can still have if it wasn't for him.

 

Liam leaves him after that to wallow retreating back upstairs just in time to see Luke come out of the bathroom fully dressed. They don't talk which was a lot more awkward than Louis had anticipated not until Luke reaches the door. Louis just needed to know.

"Did we..." He can't even finish the sentence. Luke smiles easy before replying.

"Nah I just got cold and you were very warm" That eased Louis a bit but still feels bad for actually being in a bed with another naked person he's just glad nothing advanced between him and Luke. That would have been too messy.

 

 

...

 "That was so fucking awesome! Look I still have goosebumps!" Liam gestures to his arm jumping up and down as they exit the stage. The adrenaline still high, the loud buzz still in his ear. He looks over to Harry who doesn't even look at them, doesn't acknowledge him just walks off with Lou and Tom.

 "Fellas we have a meeting now" Niall had walked in front with the rest of the band but returns to give that message.

"Meeting? Fucking now?" Louis asks incredulously looking at Niall then to Liam who looks just as taken back as him.

"Magee is here" Niall says it only to Louis who in turn shakes his head.

"Let's go hear how not to act guys" Louis scuffs hooking Liam around his arms and walking down the corridor. When they make it back to the dressing rooms Alberto tells them to stand and wait outside until the stadium was empty and he can escort them to the meeting room apparently on the other side.

As one by one they walk into the room to see not Magee but his associate Nancy with her clipboard and iPad. She greets them easy and tells them to sit which they all obeyed.

Drinks were passed around and Harry wasn't here yet. He knew Nancy was waiting until he came to start the meeting.

A few moments later a girl rushes into the room and sits down, taking all the boys by storm, clearly confused as to why she even was here and where is Harry?

"Who are you?" Louis didn't care how he sounded.

"I-I'm Mr. Styles' representative" Louis almost fell off his chair, the other boys seeming to have the same reaction.

"His fucking what? Where is he?" The girl looks afraid of Louis and she should be why was she here and not Harry? Not like he wanted to silently watch Harry and not have to participate in this meeting because he really wasn't going to do that.

 

"If everyone will settle down I will pass you this document Mr. Magee told me to distribute" Still trying to figure out how low Harry could be to hire a fucking representative just to avoid him, he takes the paper from Nancy and frowns still watching the door as if Harry would come through any minute now.

"Is this a fucking joke?" It's Liam and he doesn't seem too happy. Louis still hasn't taken a single glance at the paper in his hand so it must be something terrible if it's making Liam raise his voice and even using fuck in his sentence.

"Any questions can be directed straight to Mr. Magee I was just told to drop the document off" Without another word Nancy packs up her stuff and exits leaving Liam with his mouth open still fuming at the pages in front him.

"This can't be right. Why are they doing this?" Niall questions and Liam says something back but Louis drowns out their words because all he can think of right now is Harry. He felt so angry but at the same time so hurt that this is what they have become. Total strangers. He gets up from his chair just as Harry's assistant, it still feels weird saying that, follows him.

"Tell him we need to talk" The girl wasn't dumb, he's assuming. She has to have some sort of knowledge on her client she's been hired for so she should know about Louis' involvement with Harry.

"He was expecting it, to be honest he was hoping you'd say that. Here" She hands him a small piece of crumpled paper with Harry's handwriting messily scrawled on it. She smiles exiting the room just as Louis opens the note to read the message.

 

_I'll wait for you home - H_

 

Louis felt on the verge of crying, the fact that Harry still referred to their house as home even when both of them haven't been living in it for almost a month. He held the piece of paper on tight making his way to the exit. He had to get to Harry as soon as he can.

"Where the fuck are you going? Are you not concerned about this?" Liam barks making him pause by the door. Right, he still doesn't know what the paper Magee sent was about.

"I'll deal with that later Li, I just have to talk to Harry" Niall perks up at that his once gloomy face lightening up and he smiles forgetting the piece of paper in his hand.

"They want us to break up" Liam is furious when he says it making Louis back track into the door.

"What do you mean?"

"Magee wants us to go on a fucking break Louis"

"I just don't understand why, we were doing so well, this is the biggest tour we've had" Niall tries but Louis can't speak, he can't find the words to express how he feels right now. They want to end One Direction? The band that brought them together, the band that brought _him_ and Harry together and they just want to end it?

 

"It says here that after this tour we have to go on an announced hiatus which will last for about a year"

"Those things are never right they don't really mean a year. This is the end"

"No it's not. We bring in the most income in this company they can't just drop us"

"Well they can if we signed a fucking contract saying they could."

"Liam please shut up One Direction is my whole life"

"And it's not mine?"

 

Niall and Liam go back and forth with the conversation and Louis is just standing here trying to make sense of it all. He really doesn't want to think that Magee's decision was based on Louis and his stubbornness to listen. Either way he was fucked and not in the good way, his relationship just ended and now apparently so is his career. Meeting Harry now to the back of his head, long being forgotten.

 

...

 

" _One direction announced they're taking a break and the whole world is freaking out. Yes folks you've heard right, the band has confirmed that after the sellout stadium tour OTRA, the boys will be taking a well-deserved break to do normal things like the rest of us but we have to ask how long will it be? It is just not right when the world is without 1D what will us fans do? Hopefully it isn't too long and our boys are back before we know it! Enjoy the break though, maybe we can finally get some sleep!_

 

Headlines like that always makes him cringe, article after article had surfaced all talking about their split, no their break. It's a break, Like Ross Geller had said. Every time Louis read one it spiked fear in him, his world was crashing down and he can't do a thing to make it stop.

Liam and Niall had adjusted to the change still doing the finally touches with interviews and answering all the necessary questions about the "break" while Louis tried to leave the bitter taste in his mouth behind.

 

 He's been putting off talking to Harry for so long, avoiding him at any cost, even when Harry would sadly frown his eyebrows in a silent way of telling Louis he's had enough or how disappointed he was. The thing is, he's about to find out whether the course of action taken towards the band had a different narrative, or that it didn't involve Louis or Harry because if they were doing this because of their relationship Louis would never forgive himself for turning everything this horrible. He walks in the grand office, the smell of desperation and Simon's old titty milk from his leaky pecks permeates the air, he holds his breath and sits waiting for Nancy to bring him tea. A few seconds later Magee strolls in and takes a seat disregarding even Louis sitting opposite him.

"Nancy did you fix the papers like I asked you to?" Nancy nods exiting the room returning shortly with a stack of papers in her hands. She comes over and hands Louis all of it before retreating back to her spot in the corner.

"If there are any questions feel free to ask" Magee sits back smirking almost challenging Louis. Shakily he opens the papers not even reading line after line just skimming through words like "pregnancy" and "son" "father" seeming to catch his eyes more than others. Louis felt small, smaller than he actually was, like the walls were closing in on him, his breath comes out short and hallow, the only thing on his mind right now was that one burning question that keeps getting harsher and louder in the back of his brain. Why are they ending One Direction?

"If I agree with this then-"

"There is no negotiation in this Louis" He falls silent again looking at the pages in front him. When he signed his first contract he was young and inexperienced and so foolishly in love that it didn't matter to him what he got into so as long as he got to be with Harry. Throughout the years he's been proven wrong for even believing that nonsense. He's older, much more aware of situations but is still so foolishly in love.

"What about Ha-" He feels so fucking pathetic he can't even say his name.

"He already signed his" Which is strange since every decision since being in this industry has always been made after they both discuss it but then Louis fails to realise that this is no longer a Louis and Harry thing it's just him and his decisions so it stings. Magee holds a pen out to Louis, his face set in determination, brows twisted and a wicked smirk etched on his face. Louis had no choice, there was some point he thought it would come to this; being powerless and alone. He closes his eyes memories of him and Harry dancing around in his head, he takes a deep breath, opens his eyes and signs along the dotted line. Magee smiles, teeth showing and takes the papers away from Louis at once.

"It's a done deal then. Great decision Louis. Congrats on being a father" His condescending tone didn't go unnoticed but Louis can't even be bothered by it when he stands not even sparing him another glance and exits the room. This shit show just got even shitter.

 

 ...

 

It happens consecutively, slowly but constant. Painful and rough. Harry doesn't stop crying. He doesn't leave the house. He doesn't see the colours and the life in others but rather he allows them to be taken away from him, like a privilege, at least that's how he saw it because being able to experience happiness was a privilege when others would experience the pain and vice versa. So it's why he never laughs anymore, or never reacts to situations that he knows is funny. He just won't and couldn't experience that emotion even if he wanted to because even though it was an emotion, happiness was also a person. He is a living breath person, with sun bright smiles and crinkly blue eyes. Happiness was Louis and without him Harry felt nothing but pain.

It's why his decision to even sign the contract was confirmed, when Magee and Simon had sat him down and tried to convince him to sign, all that ran though his head was "where is Louis?" because they always made decisions like this together. They always rationalise and weigh the pros and cons but Louis wasn't there and Magee had told him that Louis already went with the decision of signing his separate contract. To know that he didn't even second guess it, or didn't even think of him made every bone in his body ache, it made him angry that Louis was this stubborn but most of all it hurt him to know that even when they're weren't together Louis still has to keep this image he has for the sake of their label and the world.

His decision didn't come as hard as he'd like however, he knew what he was getting into. Kendall has been his friend for a long while, He knows what to expect but with Louis, he hasn't met this person, he doesn't know what kind of person she is, if she's nice or if she's just in this for the money. Harry was fortunate enough to get linked to people who turned out to be more than just a hallow shell, with a similar purpose to his own so of course he'd sign.

He just wishes he knew how Louis felt.

 

 

...

_One Direction's Louis Tomlinson is expected to become a dad..._

 That headline alone made the headaches come in, that, and the constant ringing of his phone going off on the table. It's been like this for six hours now and right now Louis wants nothing but to shut the world off even if it's just for a minute. But the calls don't stop and the words are branded on his skull in big cursive writing. Louis stops for a second, there is no way he can feel smaller than he actually is right now, curled in on himself on the sofa, the set playing but on mute, the white light the only thing that helps distinguish him from the rest of unmoving, inanimate objects he wishes he was part of. Its how he feels though, unliving, unmoving, and dead. It's when Niall comes back from his long day with his other friends and finds Louis staring at the walls almost as if he's looking for answers. Niall was honestly scared to see Louis like this, he hasn't exactly been himself since the contract signing and it's been roughly around two weeks now. He's still living with Niall even though he wanted to leave, Niall had insisted and begged him not to, and he just couldn't let Louis go on his own knowing everything that was happening right now. He's silent when he enters, kicks off his shoes to make his way over to Louis. He climbs in tucking Louis in his side allowing him to rest his head on Niall's shoulders. Niall can feel him shaking, his breathing becomes harder. It's always the same.

"I spoke to him today" The words cut through the silence like a sword slashing skin, Louis flinches but doesn't pull away when Niall squeezes him against his chest closer. It takes a while but Louis finally answers.

"Just tell me..." his voice cracks as he looks up at Niall, his eyes filling up with tears "tell me that he's doing a lot better than I am, please Niall" To be honest Harry wasn't doing so well, he doesn't look himself, he wouldn't talk to anyone other than to say the formal pleasantries, he totally disregarded Niall which was a first, he hasn't shaved and his hair is a mess which is never Harry, always proper and neat, he kept on telling Niall to leave him alone, which really wasn't like him so no Harry wasn't doing so good but he has to ensure Louis so he doesn't think it's all his fault.

"He's..." and Niall knows he can't lie. Throughout the years Niall has always admired the friendship and relationship Louis and Harry had with each other. Their dynamics and love, the way they complete each other and to see all of this just fall apart was hard on him as well. It's always been Louis and Harry. The dream team. Niall feels choked up unable to take it anymore, can't bear to see Louis this way. "Harry can't live without you and you can't either you know it" Louis clenches his fists and fights to remove himself from Niall's embrace but he's weak. "He's been shitty Louis and you can stop this if you just talk to him" Louis feels anger boil inside him, he cannot sit here and hear Niall whine about Harry. He tries to sit up and Niall finally allows him to.

"He still loves you"

"Niall stop" It's pitiful how Niall is actually crying when he says it. Louis however is cold and hard as stone, his expression doesn't waver when he stands even though inside he feels heat take over his body and every inch of him is screaming out to Harry, the only person who can make it stop.

"But Lo-"

"But nothing. You do not get to tell me how to feel in this situation" It's the last thing he says before he walks off and leaves Niall.

 

The other night he had plans to go to the Brit Awards, but by himself. After the hiatus announcement Liam and Harry have distanced themselves from Niall and himself and it's understandable but at the same time this is the one time where they should be together trying to stay strong and it just wasn't happening. Until he got a call from Liam saying he'd go with him to the award show but Louis suspects that it was more of a demand rather than him wanting to go willingly, he would have told Niall to come along but he left Louis after their fight? And flew out to New York to go to a concert with his longtime friend Deo. Louis wasn't mad, he's understood Niall needed space. And there was no way of Harry attending if he was to accompany him, together or not, the world would shrivel up faster than for that to happen so that leaves Liam.

He's already making a fuss when he's seated to get dressed and fix his hair, he's hasn't been proper made up in a while so it's odd when various sizes of brushes kept being pushed in his face. It's easy with Liam though, they both start the party at the hotel room, feeling the buzz already from the two and a half bottles of champagne him and Liam guzzled thinking maybe tonight wouldn't be half bad after all. On their way Perrie calls him which is much to his surprise inviting him to an after party. He hasn't really spoken to her after the Zayn thing, she always assumed that he'd take his side seeing that he was Louis' best friend but Perrie was also his good friend and he assured her that many times, he figured she probably knew what he was going through and thought he needed that friend like he knew she needed when it happened to her.

The hardest part of this "job" if you would call it one, was the interviews and the very fucking annoying ones too. Louis is pulled and called upon when he steps out of the car, Liam tugging him along to go over to the many hungry journalists packed to one side of the carpet. He stops and tries to smile, pushing the thought of Harry somewhere watching him on television right now to the back of his head. The interviewer is nice enough, asked them about plans during the hiatus and if they'll be back, all of which Liam takes lead and answers so Louis doesn't have to, but then the interviewer purposely directs a question to him and it throws Louis off his façade.

"So you recently announced you're becoming a father. As a father myself I must say it's a bit difficult but having a kid is the most precious thing in the world" Louis cannot do a thing but keep the fake smile on his face, he's dealt with a lot of shitty interviewers in his years and he knows exactly how to handle situations like this yet he's completely frozen. Liam laughs and play pushes him so he can at least fucking move.

"Yeah I think the Tommo would be an amazing dad"

"Yeah I'm definitely buzzin" It's the first thing that came to his mind, the fucking most sarcastic thing he can think of but the interviewer soaks up the information like he just won the lottery and dismisses them with good lucks and hugs. Louis thinks he's done well.

The night goes on smoothly after that, One Direction still manages to cope awards, Liam with his big mouth thanks Simon and their management on stage and Louis wants to puke, he thinks maybe they paid Liam a little extra to get him to say that.

Liam tells him he has to go home early so they part ways when the show is over, Louis meeting Perrie and the other girls of Little Mix in the club Perrie texted him earlier. When he's there he meets them, parties for a bit but Perrie can tell he wasn't enjoying himself.

"Lou c'mon let's dance!" She tries to encourage him, escorting him on the dancefloor. Leigh Anne is there with Jesy and Jade is bracketing him with Perrie. They smile and dance and try to make him forget, which he does, he drinks and smokes and loses himself in the heavy EDM mixes he hears in the club. He has to sit to catch his breath a bit when Perrie comes to join him.

"How did you do it?" He knew exactly what she was talking about. In the beginning everyone thought Perrie and Zayn would have gotten married and be happy too, a lot of people looked up at the relationship they had and she was more than happy when she was with him which is why when Zayn just announced that he couldn't do it anymore it came as a total shock to all of them. He never understood how someone can just leave like that and not care for the other person's feelings, he thought Zayn was selfish and he didn't truly love Perrie because of what he did, but now he thinks he understands why and he relates to it because it was the same exact thing he had done to Harry.

"How come you're so sure it was me?" He tries to joke, to make it seem like it didn't affect him anymore, everyone he spoke to put the blame on him. And it's exactly the blame that worries him so much, the fact that all these people just knew he was the one to end things, Harry had nothing to do with that.

Perrie frowns thinking maybe she was wrong for saying what she said but Louis laughs patting her on the back to ensure her that he was only joking. They sit there in silence the loud sounds around them swallowing the little world they managed to make in the VIP room.

"I'm going ancient here and say if it's meant to be then it will happen, there is nothing that can stop it" Louis wish he believed those words, he wish he had the faith and all this hope that someday maybe not right now that he can find Harry again and everything would be okay but he's not really a firm believer in things like that. Harry and him were leagues apart even if they didn't want to admit it sooner, they were too different and too young and blinded by love to see clearly, Louis knew deep down it was a disaster waiting to happen, he could never have been happy for that long without something in the back of his head clawing and reminding him that horrible things always follow. Maybe if they were in a different scenario without the whole world watching, it would have been different but he can't waste time thinking of something he would never know the answer to.

The night passes and the dull ache in Louis' chest doesn't go away even when he tries to drown it out with whiskey.

 

 

...

 

 _..I always think about you and how we don't speak enough_ " Harry sings trying to keep the tears in. Niall listens and he himself cannot stop himself from crying.

 _"When I run out of rope, you bring me home"_  Every emotion and every pain, the rasp in his voice fills the air, the person who listens to him can feel what he's feeling, the single guitar strumming paired with the slow melodic tune is enough to make anyone stop and be reminded of a past love or someone who will always remain _the one._

Niall wipes at his eyes, he feels low for lying to Louis and telling him he's going to New York with Deo when it was really to meet Harry after he said he wanted to play him a song he'd been working on for years now and suddenly lyrics hit him and he needed to finish it.

It was a beautiful song and it was written completely by Harry, step by step about the journey of his relationship and the struggles, how they've managed to make it out and still stand strong. It's about Louis and how even though they are both stubborn and argue all the time he is the only one that Harry wants, he's the only one that can bring him home.

When Harry puts the guitar down he stares at Niall waiting for his opinion but Niall cannot look him in the eye. To Niall it seems that this song was a reply to Louis. He was the one who wrote on most of the song on their fourth album, the song called "Home." A promise he made that home wasn't a place, it was anything that can make him happy and Louis promised Harry that he can make anywhere feel like that, anywhere feel like getting up and seeing the person you love beside you, or feel like the soft kisses pressed on cheeks and lips whispering sweet nothings. Here Harry was telling him he's keeping that promise and Niall thinks they have got to be the two people in this world who truly deserve love. He would probably give up all the love he had if it meant Louis and Harry can get to experience it together.

"I still have a few finishing touches, I don't think it will make an album or anything it's just something I've been thinking about lately and I thought I could turn it into a song" He's rambling and usually the only way he rambles is when he's nervous.

"Haz" Niall says almost above a whisper, he tries to clear his throat so Harry wouldn't be able to hear the crack in his voice when he speaks again. "It’s beautiful Harry, really it's good" Harry smiles and Niall goes over to hug him. They don't talk about it ever again.

 

...

"I don't understand why you need me in here yet again, I've done what you told me to do" Louis is frustrated and tired. He hasn't slept in days and he thinks the caffeine in his system is taking a toll on his body, he's too hyper and twitchy right now.

"We need you to go to LA"

"And you couldn't just tell me this on the fucking phone?" Louis storms out the office not even waiting to hear the rest of what Satan Cowell has to say.

 

The next few days Louis flies out to LA, the sun and great weather should be a blessing from the dreary, gloomy days in London but not with the purpose he had in mind. He was going to LA for meetings, for this baby fiasco to blow up on the news and have everyone talking about this pregnancy and child. Louis was already fed up.

 "All you have to do is be seen with her and then we'll take it from there" Louis couldn't help but roll his eyes, that's the first thing they told him when he got out the plane, not how was your flight? Are you tired? Need a drink? Because apparently that was too unimportant to mention. He scuffs barely nodding in agreement and put his headphones in. If anything it helps drown out their voices but it did nothing to shut off his own, telling him how fucked he was.

 

The days passed, he was introduced to his baby's mother, the same blond girl from the club, and he kind of suspected she was involved how Oli strangely invited her and her cousin but they were so interested in him. She is definitely one of those who are in it for nothing but the money. She didn't care for small talk and she didn't want to have anything to do with Louis unless she was getting paid for it. Louis was delighted to say the least.

 

The boys had all flew in to appear on the Today show, it was so awkward seeing Harry after all this time. After news had spread about Louis becoming a father it's all anyone can talk about, it's the only thing people talk about, which was the whole purpose of this and it never bothered Louis but now that he had to talk about this nonexistent child in front of Harry for the first time he feels uneasy.

The dressing room alone made him feel nauseous, everyone was sharing one this time, Liam by his side typing away on his phone, Niall is on the sofa looking at him like he has so much to say but can't. Harry is to the corner getting his hair done and Louis is sitting in this high chair with his headphones in. He tends to do that more than often now, he just felt it was the best way to avoid people from talking to him.

Lou signals that they have five more minutes, Harry gets up from his chair and Niall follows him. Since New York Niall seems to cling more to Harry now and it really doesn't sit well with Louis. Obviously they're friends but Niall was on his side, he told him everything from his point of view and now he just switch up sides and didn't even bother to think of Louis. He felt hurt.

Liam nudges him as they make their way to the stage.

The interviewers are already seated, he walks in greeting them choosing to sit in the middle of Liam and Niall, Harry opting to take the end seat away from him. They get asked the same boring questions like usual, when's the band coming back? What are the plans now that they're on a break? That sort of thing but then the male interviewer brings up the fatherhood question and Louis feels everything in his body shut down.

"From one father to the next I just want to congratulate you on your upcoming fatherhood" He chokes, _don't look at Harry, don't look at Harry, don't look at Harry_ he keeps chanting maintaining eye contact with the hosts in front him.

"Yeah it's.." he swallows "it's exciting yeah I'm buzzin' " The crowd roars and he thinks what a betrayal that so many people would believe he'd just knock up some random girl, that he was this type of person to them. The boys are awfully quiet, Niall awkwardly tries to laugh, and Liam is his usual composed self and Harry well he doesn't know what's up with him.

"Harry?" The female interviewer calls, Louis freezes, why is she bringing Harry into this? He tries not to panic. "You're really quiet, how are you feeling?" She's obviously trying to get his reaction from the news, she wants him to say something about the situation and knowing Harry, he's never been great with lying, he stutters and he's uncomfortable, he tries to subtly deflect the question from the actual answer, rambling.

"I'm good yeah" he says and just the sound of his voice betrays him. He's hurt and uncomfortable that the attention is on him. The camera man prompts the interviewers to wrap it up and go on commercial so the band can get ready to perform. It's a hell they've survived Louis thinks. If barely.

 

...

 

"Can you shut the fuck up for once? God you're so annoying" Harry hasn't even said two words to her yet she's giving him a piercing look that screams 'death to styles' and he wonders how did she even get so cranky and honestly _bitchy._

"I just asked for extra napkins" Kendall rolls her eyes at him but continues to type away on her phone. If she feels he's enjoying her company as much as she is then she's dead wrong. Harry would rather be sleeping but he got a call and because of his obligations here he is now. Kendall has definitely changed from all the years Harry has known her, she's much more vocal that's for sure, she doesn't keep anything in, whereas before she was so unsure of how to say or do things, always second guessing herself, it's why Harry felt so connected to her in the first place, she understood the situation.

"Okay the paps are here. Let's go" She stands plastering a smile, grabbing Harry by the arm and forcing him to stand too. She's much more aggressive and strong than Harry remembered. He says nothing but allows her to escort him to the exit. It's not crowded outside, there aren't that many people either, just a single photographer which doesn't surprise him. Kendall knows how to deal with them hiding her face when she exits leaving Harry to follow behind her. He takes a deep breath and follows, before he can even look to see where Kendall went he hears the car before he sees it, speeds off and Harry is standing there in shock. Kendall left him. He pretends to know where he's going taking out his phone while he hears shutters, calls for a ride and walks so he's out of sight from the paps.

Harry was trying this thing where he can be more active like how he was before, vibrant and laughing, always smiling and surrounded by people but it's hard. It's hard watching people laugh and talk like they had no care in the world when he was dying inside, suffocating and no matter how much he screamed for help no one was listening. It’s when Niall called to invite him to a barbeque he was having one weekend that Harry forgot he was supposed to be sulking and happily agreed to go. It was only when he was at Niall’s doorsteps did he really stop to think what he got himself into. Being here would mean seeing Louis and that means just that. Harry would have to keep his distance, watch from afar, no touching, no talking and that alone sounded like a cruel punishment he never thought he would experience yet he’s been through it for almost a month now.

Before he can even contemplate or turn to leave, Niall beats him by the door, greeting him loud so all the people in the room know he had arrived. He tries not to look around, too afraid he might spot Louis and linger on that spot, instead focusing hard on Niall and his straight line of vision in front him.

Niall grabs him a beer and carries him to the backyard where even more people are around lounging around the pool. Deo, Niall’s childhood friend is by the grill wearing a “kiss the cook” apron.

He walks over going to maybe say hello when his eyes find the shadowy figure across the pool on a chair. It’s like a magnet pushing, pulling and he knows Louis feels him too because he freezes from hugging the girl between his legs and looks up. Their eyes meet and for one vulnerable moment Harry broke. He didn’t care who saw, he didn’t care how fucking stupid he must look, the tears didn’t stop falling down his cheeks and Louis is still staring at him. He pathetically wipes at his eyes finding Niall making his way over to him. He couldn’t stay here anymore.

He makes to exit but Niall holds onto his arm, tries to calm him but all he sees, all he feels is Louis crushing his heart, the image of Louis and somebody else on repeat in his head. He doesn’t know how to make it go away. Niall is talking but he hears nothing, a lot more people are paying attention to him now, he can tell when their gazes find him and Niall in the center of the room.

“Haz come on” Niall’s voice cut his inner turmoil finally, his head spinning as he feels Niall grab his arm and escorts him inside. He goes over to a room and locks the door. Harry sits on the bed motionless thinking again how Louis has managed to move on so quickly yet he was stuck in one place.

“It’s not what it looks like” Is the first thing Niall tells him making his way over to sit next to Harry on the bed. From what Harry saw, Louis was hugging a half-naked girl who was between his legs, his bare legs and shirtless chest. They were both smiling and looking very much in the moment so how else would it have looked like?

“Why am I here Niall?” He presses his hands to his eyes willing himself to not cry. It was pointless. He feels Niall’s hand on his shoulder.

“Because you love him” It’s a whisper and even though he wants to be mad at Niall he knew that was the right answer. Without consciously knowing it Harry was positive that the only reason he decided to come here was to see Louis and maybe something can happen so they were not just strangers anymore. They can never be just strangers to each other and Harry wanted to prove that.

“Wish I could say the same thing for him” It was an empty response, of course he knows Louis loves him, someone just don’t fall out of love, maybe it fades but it never really goes away.

“Don’t say that when you don’t know his side of the story” Niall would obviously still be on his side. And fuck, how he so desperately wants to know Louis’ side of the story, why he left, why he gave up, why he ended it, just why but he’s not allowing Harry to even be in the same room with him.

Niall probably read his mind because he stands, small smile of his face looking at Harry the slowly backs away from the room.

“Wait here” He says opening the door to exit.

“Where are you goi-“

“Just wait I’ll be right back!” Niall locks the door on his way out so Harry can’t escape. He could do nothing but wait until he returns.

…

Louis immediately pushes her away from his body when he looked across the pool and saw fucking Harry standing there staring at him. It was the last person he expected to see at Niall’s but he was stupid to think so when Harry was actively friends with Niall as well. It still surprised Louis and even more that Harry had to see him after all this time with _her._

He wanted to run after him when Harry started crying, it hurt Louis seeing him this way knowing it was nobody’s fault but his own, even when they’re not together Louis still manages to fuck up. He’s lucky he had Niall as a support system for these past few months he doesn’t think he would have taken it if he was alone, it’s why he doesn’t follow when he sees Niall take Harry inside. It doesn’t stop him however from always glancing at the door to see if Niall would return by himself or Harry would be with him. He gets up pretending to refill his drink looking through the glass doors to see if he can see them, which well he can’t.

“This spot is way more romantic Lou come on let’s take another picture” This is what his life has become to now. He scuffs rolling his eyes at her, she’s smiling nonetheless and comes to stand next to him. She snaps a picture of her cuddling up to him and pressing a kiss to his cheeks. He knows the internet would be in a frenzy when she posts it. It’s gone on now for almost two weeks and from the look on Harry’s face he could tell tonight was the first time knowing about it. She’s not paying attention to him anymore, he can see Oli and Stan to the corner laughing, god knows why he even invited them if they were going to keep making fun of him and even Calvin who just shakes his head and calls this the most live dramatic soap opera in existence. Whatever.

Niall comes through the door and he seems to be searching for something rather someone and it doesn’t take much to figure out what or who it was he was looking for. Louis walks up to him leaving Danielle by the tree still looking down on her phone probably not even noticing he left.

Niall’s eyes light up when he sees him throwing his arms around him in a hug.

“Come I want to talk to you”

“Wait” He stops Niall and stares at him, his heart rate picking up gradually. “Is he g-gone?”

Niall sighs but smiles nodding his head. “He couldn’t stay” And it made Louis sad but most of all anger boiled because he was right when he said Harry can’t even stand to be in the same room as him.

“Niall can you slow down” But he continues to pull at Louis’ arm shoving him down the hall and to the guest room.

“Go in wait for me I’ll be back” Niall hands him the key which is strange in itself because why was the door even locked? He doesn’t second guess himself but opens the door and pushes it so he can step in. He hears someone gasp and when he turns to see who it is Louis is sure his heart dropped to his ass because staring at him with red glassy eyes on the edge of the bed was none other than Harry. They keep staring at each other and every moment that passes becomes harder and harder to look away. Harry visibly relaxes but doesn’t take his eyes off Louis, he however is shaking, finding it hard to even stand much longer, he’s finally in front of Harry after months of not being able to see or even speak to him. He doesn’t know whether to thank Niall or fucking kill him.

 

…

“Your fly” Harry finds himself saying maintaining eye contact with this beautiful tanned boy across from him in this room. Harry feels every part of his body come alive, the light shines inside of him and he already feels lighter just having Louis in the same breathing space as himself.

Louis frowns because of course he does, Harry doesn’t know what he’s saying but Louis frowns and he looks like the sun, so soft and confused and Harry wishes so bad that he can kiss him and make the crease by his eyebrows disappear.

“Your fly” he repeats trying to sound at least like he’s making any sense “It’s generally wide open” His eyes betray him and trails to Louis’ jean shorts where indeed his zipper is down.

 

It causes Louis to snort, the sound rushing to his head and all through his body, his stomach turning up in knots, his heart spiking. It’s the same sweet sound and it’s just as lovely as he remembers. When he dares to look Louis’ way. He’s smiling and his eyes crinkle by the corners, he seems embarrassed though, turning so Harry won’t see him do up his zip.

“Thanks” It’s awkward, Harry doesn’t want that with them. He doesn’t want Louis to treat him like this, it’s not who they are.

It’s silent again and Harry finally gets the courage seeing Louis here, this is what he’s wanted for a long time, to be able to address this and not have Louis run away without giving him any answers.

“What are we doing Louis?” He can hear the sharp intake of breath Louis takes clearly surprised he’s been asked that question. Harry continues to watch him though, the way his body shifts and the way he tries so hard not to look his way.

“We’re talking obviously” He tries to make it sound breezy and unaffected but Harry can tell he’s nervous.

“Are we? Because you can’t even look at me” At that moment Louis’ head snaps and he’s staring at Harry. His eyes are bright and piercing, too much to take that Harry has to look away.

“Anything else?” Louis practically snaps, he’s always been this way, stubborn and so full of pride. Harry hates it. He wants so much to see Louis vulnerable, for him to say what’s wrong, to fix this, to fix them.

“Are you going to just ignore me for the rest of your life?”

“Are you dense? I’m not ignoring you we are talking right now aren’t we?” He folds his arms together building up his shield to protect himself from Harry.

“So if I asked you why did you do it would you give me an answer?” Louis swallows, his lips turn down but he doesn’t say a word.

“The way I see it you’re nothing but a coward Louis Tomlinson” Louis’ face falls, his shoulders sink as well as his head. “You pushed away the one person who would do anything for you” He sounds broken but he really needed Louis to know how he felt, he didn’t have a say in the matter, Louis made this decision on his own, thinking it was for the best, even though Harry’s trying to tell him he’s wrong.

It’s a long while before Louis answers, his response almost getting lost when at the same time Niall opens the door making the sounds from outside travel into the quiet room. Still Harry heard it clear as day. Louis hangs his head and walks out leaving him and Niall in the room. The words “I didn’t give up on us I just lost the fight” ringing in his head even when Niall bombards him with questions of what had happened.

...

 

Louis wakes up to the sound of his phone going off. He squints cracking open one eye to find bright light shining straight on his face. He groans turning away from the light fetching his phone on the nightstand. It’s Niall. He leaves it so it goes to voicemail. He can’t speak to Niall after last night. He left Harry and Niall crashing at a hotel for the remainder of the night. Magee called him and he knows he violated his contract since he left without Danielle and the consequence of that is terrifying to think of but what’s worse than that was the fact that Harry said so many things, hurtful things to him that still lingers in his head.

Instead of trying to let it stay in his mind, he knows if he lies here all by himself he would do something he’ll regret later so he forces his body to sit up checking his phone again. He’s got twenty three missed calls from Niall and a text that says “Hope you’re okay! Don’t do anything stupid” He wants to reply to Niall with a giant FUCK YOU but he figures Niall is just being himself.

After he showers and puts on the same clothes he had on, he really didn’t think this whole thing through, he exits and calls for someone to pick him up. That someone being Liam. He had no choice.

When Liam arrives he doesn’t say anything when Louis sits in his car, the only sound is the radio playing and Louis knows he wants to talk but is too afraid he snaps at him, it’s a miracle to watch Liam stay silent when a million things are swimming in his big head.

“Just say it” Louis decides to say but Liam shifts in his seat looking confused.

“Say what?”

“Whatever it is that you’re thinking”

“I’m only thinking why you didn’t call me sooner” Louis sometimes forgets the connection he has with Liam and the genuine concern they have for each other. He was obviously his shoulder to cry on when Zayn left but Liam has always been a solid rock to Louis, through good and bad. They don’t say anything again. Liam pulls up to a coffee shop unbuckling his seat belt and then turning to question Louis.

“Do you want anything?” Louis shakes his head and Liam just smiles leaving him in the car to go fetch his coffee. When he comes back a few minutes though, he has two cups in his hand. He gives Louis one and takes a sip from his settling back on his seat.

“Tea with no sugar but milk right?” Louis gracefully takes the cup and nods because that is exactly how he likes his tea.

“So” Liam breaks the silence again. “I know you have a lot going on and I’m not going to be the person to tell you what to do or tell you whatever it is you’re doing is wrong” Louis is grateful honestly “but I just want you to know that if you need someone to talk to I’m here and I’m willing to listen” It was always easiest with Zayn and he doesn’t want to compare what Zayn and him had to what he and Liam shares but it was a lot better with Zayn. They’d get high and Louis would tell him everything on his mind, Zayn would do the same. It was kept secret, both of them too high to even remember what they told each other the day after and even if they did none of them ever brought it up. With Liam he’s in his senses and he knows what’s going on, he’ll remember and he’ll judge. He’s always been highly critical when it came to Louis and his decisions.

“I’ll keep that in mind Payno” Louis tries to plaster a smile on his face but the look Liam gives him he knows he’s translucent.

“Well if you don’t want to talk then can I say something?” He makes a sound to let Liam know he can proceed too stubborn to even look at him rather stares out the window.

“I’ve known you for years and if it’s one thing I’m sure about is that there is nothing more important to you than Harry” Louis tenses feeling his throat constrict and burn making it hard to swallow. “You’ll figure it out eventually, you always do” Liam starts the car again and drives off leaving Louis to sulk and replay his honest words in his head.

 

…

“Are you really going to sulk when we’re in St. Barths on a fucking yacht?” Kendall sips from her champagne sitting across from him. He’s already decided to take a dip this morning but even though this place is beautiful and he’s grateful to be here he cannot help but feel like this same time he could be doing something that can make things better between him and Louis. He shrugs at her looking at the waters again.

“I’m not sulking” He’s acting childish which makes Kendall roll her eyes at him.

“How did Louis ever put up with you?” And it settles something nasty inside him because she’s acting like Harry is horrible to be around when all she ever does is play games on her phone and drink fucking champagne.

“I’d prefer if you not say his name”

“I’m sorry is this Harry Potter? He who shall not be named. That’s bullshit Harry, you’re such a child. Why are you even here?” He clenches his fists trying to ease the anger inside. He grits his teeth and stands knowing if he stays here any longer he would say something to her he knows could turn ugly.

“Going so soon?” She’s become such a pest these days and Harry is fucking regretting even signing the contract agreeing to be with her.

To the back of the boat he sees Jeff and Glenn smoking and he decides this atmosphere is much better than that of the front of the boat with Kendall.

“Honeymoon over already?” Glenn jokes hugging him, Jeff holds out the joint inviting Harry to take it. He does inhaling a few times and passing it back to him.

“I don’t know what’s her problem and why she’s this mad” He looks down at the pristine waters. It’s clear and blue almost like Louis’ eyes when he wakes up.

“You don’t know?” Jeff throws the butt over the boat going back to sit on one of the lounging chairs to the side. Glenn sits on his lap looking at Harry waiting for him to answer the question.

“Know what?”

“Harry” It’s Glenn and she sounds so disappointed that Harry doesn’t know what they’re talking about. “She had to break up with Cara” And Harry definitely didn’t know that. He didn’t even know Kendall was with his long- time friend Cara Delevingne, he knew things were casual with them and he only knew about Kendall’s childhood sweetheart, Lauren but it seems that didn’t work out if she’s with Cara.

“What do you mean she _had_ to?”

“They sabotaged her career, her own mother actually” Harry is beyond shocked. “It’s why I stepped in. Kris thinks her career is most important right now” He knew turning to the Azoffs was a smart move after being treated like shit for the past five years he knew Jeff would fix things for him.

“Thanks for telling me Jeff, that’s horrible”

“She had no choice but to end things and now she thinks it’s too late to fix things with Cara”

“But why?”

“Well for one, Cara seems to think she did this on purpose and truly believes Kendall chose her career over her. Heard she’s dating this other chick”

“I feel so sorry for Kendall”

“Yeah we all do”

Harry makes his way back to the front where he silently watches Kendall laying on the chairs on her phone. He inches closer catching glimpse of the picture she’s looking at. It’s of her and Cara smiling into the camera, Kendall is sitting on her and Cara is kissing her cheek. It burns in Harry’s chest.

“Kendall?” She startles when Harry calls her dropping the phone on her face.

“Fuck Harry don’t ever do that again!”

“I’m sorry” He comes over to brush her hair where the phone hit her, she swats his hands away doing it herself.

“What do you want?” He watches her long and hard, she’s not looking at him and even if she has a deep scowl on her face he can see the sadness in her eyes.

“I want to go for a swim” She looks at him her lips turn up and eyebrows scrunch.

“Do you need my permission? No one is stopping you” She makes to stand but Harry wraps his hands around her pulling her back on the chair.

“What the fuck are you do-“But she doesn’t get to finish because Harry is tickling her. Hands flying everywhere and Kendall bursts out laughing swatting at him and telling him to stop. Since they’ve been together all of their meetings have been cold and formal. Now hearing Kendall laugh joining in with her the tension seems to die and Kendall seems to drop the ‘hate the whole world’ act.

“Okay stop Harry I’ll go swimming with you” Harry stops, she’s lying flat on the chair and he’s on top her, he has to admit it would look like they were doing something different if anyone else were to walk in and see but he doesn’t care because he got her to smile. They swim for a bit, Harry tries being silly just so Kendall can smile and maybe remind her that there is still things in this world that can make her happy. And he’s noticed how hypocritical he’s being all this time because for how long he’s convinced himself that nothing can make him happy like Louis did and everything was pointless and useless to him. Maybe Louis did this because he knew they weren’t going to last, maybe he did choose leaving Harry behind because he was holding him back, maybe he fell out of love, maybe he did lose the game but Harry doesn’t plan on finding the answers anymore. It is what it is.

He isn’t surprised that a few days after there are pictures of him and Kendall from the yacht blowing up on every social media, every article but he thinks maybe this is a good start to something new.

 

…

He’s still in LA and the calls wouldn’t stop. He’s been out almost every day, paps in his face, the shutters becoming like a song in his head, the screams and constant feeling of being trapped and suffocating. Currently he’s sat in a small restaurant looking down at his phone at the many pictures of Harry and Kendall fucking Jenner somewhere tropical and far away from him, looking happy and enjoying each other’s company while he’s here sulking and trying to drown out the annoying whining voice of the person sitting to the opposite of him.

She orders a salad and every word she says, everything she does he can’t help but link it to the way Harry would do it, how he’d say it. He has dreams and he isn’t sure if it’s nightmares or something he would appreciate since it’s a manifestation of all the times he spent with Harry. Down to the fine details and the most absurd things he would notice and it’s those things that made him love Harry.

The way he’d blindingly pick food off Louis’ plate even after he’s had his full meal or how he’d mindlessly write out random words with his fingers on Louis’ skin when he thought he was asleep. How Louis would stay up at night just to watch him sleep and the noises he would make when he moves, the way he snores and wrinkles his nose because Louis isn’t holding him anymore. The way he’d try to make a point when speaking but people wouldn’t give him the time to say what he meant, the way he’d just stare at Louis when they were watching tv and Harry always thought Louis didn’t notice but he did. Now this house feels empty and broken, his scars are burst open and it bleeds, it’s the dry taste in his mouth that begs for Harry and his caress. The voice in his head that won’t allow him any sleep or the smile that refuses to fade from his mind. He thought it would get easier as time passes but it doesn’t. He’s still sad and he is still so much in love but Harry and even if he could do something about it he couldn’t.

…

Harry sits looking at his phone every minute hoping it would be a call from Louis. And he’s stupid to think so because he knows deep down it wasn’t going to happen. He’s interrupted by Jeff.

“Your glass is still full” He says the obvious causing Harry to tuck his phone away and look down at his full glass of whiskey.

“You know whiskey isn’t really my thing” He sets it down on a random table getting up from the chair to face Jeff.

“You’re not leaving” Jeff holds his arm already knowing Harry’s intentions.

“I see no point in me being here” Jeff rolls his eyes and pokes Harry in his side making him jump.

“Come on I want you to meet someone” Harry thinks it’s Jeff’s friend Michael who he’s been trying to get them together but Harry always dodges and bolts for some reason. They walk back into the crowded room and before Harry can do anything he spots him. Jeff doesn’t seem to notice crashing into Harry when he stops abruptly.

“Harold what gives?” Jeff watches across the room and sees him too. Harry’s eyes already well up with tears and Jeff squeezes his arm to let him know that he was still here.

The thing is Louis is still breathtakingly beautiful and he’s still the same Louis that Harry loves. But the man he sees in front him is smaller and fragile, he’s not the same bright eyed boy with the loud personality and a smile that can light up the room. He’s making himself one of the faceless people in the crowd disguising himself among them, trying to be one of them. It doesn’t suit him one bit because he still stands out, he’s still the brightest light and the only face Harry sees in a crowd.

He ducks when Louis watches to his side, Jeff doesn’t move.

“Did he see us?” Jeff only shakes his head. He stands again composing himself and when he watches to see if Louis is still there he isn’t. Jeff’s got that look on his face that Harry ignores and walks to the exit.

When he’s back in his hotel room, alone in this confided area he realises how brutal it is to be laying in this cold bed without making yourself go insane. He thinks he can join Jeff and Glenn by the bar to pass his time. When he goes down before he can approach them he hears the conversation they’re having and he stops.

“He’s doing it again” Jeff tells his wife who in turn frowns. “Do you know what he did earlier?” Glenn looks heartbroken shaking her head. “He thought he saw Louis again” Harry swallows because he did see Louis he was at that party, Harry was sure he saw him.

“What did you say to him?” Jeff sighs taking a sip from his drink.

“I just didn’t have the heart to tell him Louis wasn’t there”

“Poor sod, we have to do something Jeffrey”

Harry thinks he can’t hear any more so stomps off. Of course Louis was there, he fucking saw him right in front of his eyes.

 

...

 

It was last minute but here he was with Lou doing his hair and makeup while he scuffs trying not to think of how ridiculous he is for doing what he’s about to do.

Louis gets off the high chair and walks to the back room where it’s less crowded and noisy. He checks his phone consciously hoping something on there would calm his nerves. All he sees are the last few texts from his mum and sisters and one from Liam wishing him good luck.

The in depth interview is over before he knew it, he gave the answers they told him to give trying to ease himself by rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans. It’s over. They got their story and now Louis can sit back and watch the rest of this shit show go on.

When he walks back to his dressing room a brunette woman is already waiting for him. She looks familiar somehow, she’s petite and pleasant looking saved for the gracious smile she wears together with her green skirt suit. She seems surprised to see Louis which is strange because this is his own dressing room who did she expect to see? But she walks over and holds her hand out to him.

“I’m Glenne” Louis takes it half- heartedly.

“Pleasure” He turns to grab his towel on the small couch to the corner only realising that he should probably offer this lady a place to sit. He gestures to the couch but she subtly shakes her head keeping the smile on her face.

“So what is it that I can do for you today Glenne?” He sits chugging some water, his throat so dry during the interview.

“To the point I see” she smiles leaning against the makeup table. “You don’t even want to know who I am?”

Louis frowns, well it’s not that important just tell me why you’re here and leave, whoever you are wouldn’t matter to me he thinks and he would have said it outloud but he’s learnt when to keep his big mouth shut.

“I feel like you’re going to tell me anyway” Glenne laughs coming over to sit next to him.

“Of course you’re funny I thought he was exaggerating” Just the mention of “he” and Louis knows he just knows why she’s here. He gets it now and he’s repulsed Harry would send someone else to talk to him rather than do it himself yet Harry calls him the coward.

“What does he want?” Glenne stops laughing looking at him seriously now. She knows that Louis figured out why she’s here.

“He doesn’t know I’m here”

“Well then why are you here?” He’s getting agitated and fast. He shifts and stands just so he can feel like he held the upper hand and that this conversation wouldn’t make him vulnerable.

“I don’t really know” She answers sadly, her voice dropping together with her eyes to the floor. “I just know that I hate seeing him like that. He’s not okay”

“That’s not my fault” When in fact it was his fault but he thought Harry was doing well according to the pictures of him and Kendall all over the internet. It’s fake yes, but he still looked happy, Harry isn’t that good of an actor.

“He keeps saying that he sees you but you’re not really there” Glenne is desperate, she stands too coming over to take Louis’ hands. He flinches and backs away. “I’ll call him you don’t have to see him just-“she starts crying and Louis feels uncomfortable. He wants to leave. “Louis please just talk to him” He walks off swinging the door open to leave. She’s looking at him intensely and he hates that everything inside him breaks seeing her like that. He’s doing this just so she can stop looking like that. He nods his head once and she grabs her phone wiping her eyes and listening to the phone ring. He answers because she pushes the phone to him. He takes forever to hold it knowing what he’s about to do that has him shaking. He puts the phone by his ear hearing Harry repeating Glenne’s name.

“I’m hanging up now Glenne this isn’t a game” He says and goes to do just that.

“No don’t h-hang up” Fuck. Keep it together for fuck’s sake Tomlinson. **_(A/N Listen to Two Ghosts when you’re reading here because that’s what I did when I wrote it)_**

There is a long pause, the only noise is the static from the phone. Louis almost believes Harry hung up on him until he hears breathing.

“Lo-Louis?” He sounds on the verge of tears. Louis looks at Glenne then turns and closes his eyes taking a deep breath in before answering.

“Yeah it’s me”

“What are you doing with Glenne’s phone? I didn’t know the two of you knew each other” Louis is frustrated right now because he just gathered a lot of courage to do this, just finished a fucking interview which basically is him talking and confirming he is in fact a father of an unborn child which is hard to admit when it isn’t even true in the first place but now Harry is just acting like this is a casual conversation and the first thing he’d like to know is how he knows this fucking lady in his dressing room who came to him without his knowing. It’s all very telling to say the least.

“What are you doing Harry?” It cuts through the air, Harry ceases and Louis’ heart flutters he doesn’t exactly understand why and it’s strange having this conversation when a strange woman is looking at him but he finally has alone time with Harry and he feels so close like they’re touching yet they must be in two different worlds right now.

“Just got out of the gym” Of course he’d take the literal way and answer logically but he knows that’s not what Louis’ meant.

“I mis-“Louis feels stupid he’s saying it but luckily Harry stops him and he knows the conversation is taking a different route now. This isn’t about his stupid feelings or his grief, his pining this is about self- liberation and the will to walk away and stay away. To being strong and not being pulled back into something that ended months ago.

“Don’t say it” He’s crying Louis can hear him stuttering and his voice is much rougher and slow. “I need to see you if you have to say it” It’s breaking him even more hearing Harry this way.

“But I do” Louis’ voice cracks betraying him. Glenne must get the idea and she nods first before exiting the room. He’s all alone now and Harry is still making little sounds on the phone. He lies down hoping it would hurt less, closing his eyes and picture Harry is lying right beside him.

“Can I see you?” He nods on his own accord almost like it’s a reflex movement only realising Harry cannot see him and that they’re on the phone.

“Yeah. Where are you now?” It takes Harry by surprise like he was not expecting Louis to agree but his voice changes to much lighter now and Louis almost feels his heart smile.

“New York” Louis was in LA.

“I’ll come”

“You will?”

“Yeah I promise. Wait for me”

“Always” He doesn’t know when he hung up or if he did but Harry’s voice is still lingering in his head as he closes his eyes and drift off.

 

…

**_(A/N and now this is Sweet Creature so listen to it when you read this part)_ **

New York is windy and the harsh weather is a downgrade from the always sunny California. Louis hops out the car nonetheless and checks into his hotel room. He’s excited but somewhat nervous to be here. The day after his conversation with Harry he booked a plane ticket and here he was, with the intention of seeing Harry but now that he was finally here he cannot find the courage to pick up his phone and tell Harry he was actually in the same place as him and that he did in fact keep his promise to coming to see him. He drops on his bed deciding to pass the time with watching television.

The door knocks and it’s strange since he hasn’t ordered anything and no one exactly knows he’s here.

When he opens the door he sees it’s Niall with a dumb look on his face.

“Louis Styles are you fucking serious?” He shoves Louis and goes into the room. To his defense he just thought people would assume it’s some fan that was that dedicated to their love and not actually think it was Louis himself. Besides everyone know if anyone has to change their name it would be Harry. They would be the Tomlinsons. Why is he even having this inner monologue about marriage and name changing is beyond him right now and he’s so glad Niall cannot read minds.

“Hello to you too Nialler”

“Yeah yeah” he dismisses going to sit on the bed “now tell me what he said?” Louis looks at him blinking wondering how on earth he even knew about any of this, he figured it has to be Harry or Glenne maybe it was her.

“I didn’t meet him yet calm down”

“Oh” Niall’s face falls “so when are you going to?”

“I don’t know Niall I just got here”

“And you haven’t time to waste come on Tommo call him”

“I will when you leave”

“Me poor heart” He clutches his heart as if hurt and Louis laughs.

“Get out loser” Niall laughs too getting off the bed to hug Louis.

“Tell me how it goes”

“You’ll be the first to know” Louis smiles as Niall bids him farewell finally alone in his room once more.

It's a long while before he takes out his phone and texts Harry.

 

His palms are sweaty as he arrives to the house. It's a small townhouse Harry said belonged to one of his many friends. Louis breathes out and walks up to the door. He knocks twice and stands going over what he should say or do when he sees Harry. Do they hug? kiss? shake his hand? just stare into his beautiful eyes? The door opens while all these thoughts swim in his head and when he looks up he sees him.

He is still the same beautiful boy Louis fell in love with six years ago, he is the same man he keeps loving more every single day. He's wearing shorts in the awful weather and the ratty cream jumper that belongs to Louis. He thought he threw that out but Harry still has it even though it barely fits his oversized body. Louis doesn't smile thinking of how endearing he thought that was.

Harry is smiling though even if his eyes tell a different story, the beautiful green more lighter and almost grey. He hasn't shave and his little mustache is uneven, his eyebrows frown in that way that makes him look like an angry kitten.

 

 "I wasn't expecting you for another hour" He doesn't say it with spite or that he really doesn't want Louis being here early rather he's quite glad he is here.

"I couldn't wait" It brightens Harry's features immediately, self consciously pulling at the jumper so his bare hips doesn't show. He didn't think Louis would be here seeing him wearing his clothes.

"I have to shower but come in I'll be out shortly" And this was beginning to start off worse than Louis had anticipated for. Harry is going to shower. Alone. While Louis is going to sit here and not try to picture him naked and soapy right in the other room. He doesn't realise he's staring when Harry calls him out continuing to frown. God dammit he's fucked.

"What?" Harry coos looking down at himself and then over to Louis.

"Nothing" Louis busies himself by sitting on the sofa and picking up the random magazine on the coffee table.

"Do you want some tea?" And it's this little thing that gets to Louis because Harry always made his tea, he never had to and now this casual way of just asking if he wants tea makes him swallow at the possibility of never having that home feeling anymore. Just a person entertaining their house guest.

"No I'm fine I'll just wait here" Harry hesitates but does walk off leaving Louis sitting there. It doesn't take him long to emerge and Louis counts his blessings because he doesn't trust his mind when he's alone for long.

Harry comes back, hair dripping wet in a mesh black shirt and skinny jeans which Louis thinks is his ploy to seduce him and it's fucking working. He passes his hands through his hair looking at Louis and making sure he's seeing this. He knows the effect of his hair has on Louis. It was always a thing. Louis would play with his hair until Harry falls asleep. Louis is still watching him and Harry makes a show of biting his lips choosing to take the seat just opposite of Louis.

"You've gotten even taller and your hair is longer too" Louis starts already making the pink blush appear on Harry's face.

"You look exactly the same" Louis frowns and Harry is quick to defend himself. "No I didn't mean it as a bad thing I just think you look how I always know you to look...If that makes sense. You just look exactly like I remember" Louis is smiling because how could he not? Harry is rambling like a fool oblivious to Louis and the fact that he knew exactly what he meant.

"Can I say it now?" Harry swallows, his eyes widen as he stares at Louis.

"No" he shakes his head "Come closer first" he demands softly his eyes slipping shut. Louis complies shifting so he can accompany Harry on the single sofa he's sitting in. Opting to take the armrest. When Harry opens his eyes Louis is looking down at him, a small smile on his face. Harry is so beautiful and open like this, his lips are slightly down turn and he's looking at Louis with his eyes lit up, the wet strands of his hair framing his delicate face outlining his prominent jaw. Louis can easily bend and capture his lips in a kiss, feel his breath and taste his sweet skin. Feel his heart beat pick up with just one touch and watch as Harry become pliant under his gaze, open to whatever Louis has in store for him, inviting him to take what he wants and he's willing to give all that he has. Instead he bends just so Harry is mere inches away from his face, his mouth opens trying to follow Louis' but he holds him in place finally running his hands through Harry's hair, making him purr in his ears as Louis rests their foreheads together.

"I miss you" He croaks Harry making a strangled noise that sounds like music to Louis.

"I-I miss you too Lou" Harry's hand blindly reaches out to hold on to Louis' cheeks shaking with the contact alone. It's been months since he got to hold Louis like this, to be able to feel his hot breath and his sweet scent linger in his nostrils. It feels exhilarating and Harry never wants it to end.

"I've said so many things these past couple months that I never meant, done things I shouldn't have and worse of all broke the one promise I kept to you" Louis tells himself not to cry but Harry is brushing his hair holding on to the back of his neck and it’s as if whatever he did, all this time he’s been away from this man, it all comes crashing down on him. How fucking wrong he was and how horrible he feels knowing he put this beautiful man through this worthless pain. Harry is breathing rough but he tries to stay calm by closing his eyes.

“I promised to always keep that smile on your face and I failed and I can never apologise for that Harry” The tears finally make their way out Harry’s eyes but they still manage to stay closed, his lips are trembling and his hands shake against Louis.

“I understood why you did it Lou” Harry whispers lifting his head so there lips ghost each other. Louis can already feel him in every aching inch of his body. “But right now I just need you to take the pain away” Louis releases him creating space between them so he can look at Harry and his swollen red lips parted and his glossy eyes. “Make me feel better”

Louis knows sex solves nothing but Harry is already panting and looking at him like any minute he’d come right on the spot, he’s hard he can see the bulge in his jeans and he’s just sitting there looking at Louis rather waiting for him to just touch him which is so hot in itself because usually Louis is the one desperate and Harry is always in control of things but now the ball is in his park and it’s creating a pleasant buzz within him to know that even being away from Harry this long he still trusts him well enough to be the one in control.

He pulls Harry back on him spreading his hands out on the expanse of his broad back. Harry is cooing searching for Louis’ lips planting kisses up his neck and jaw until he finally captures Louis’ lips with his. The kiss is soft yet rough all together. Harry is breathing roughly against him, hands searching, pulling on the fabric of Louis’ clothing to get it off.

“Slow down baby” Louis captures his hands stopping him. He whines pushing up to press his lips on Louis’ once more. He gets off the arm rest pushing Harry so he’s leaning back on the sofa. He zips his trousers down without waiting for Louis to instruct him wiggling to get it pass his hips. Louis takes his shirt off tossing it to the side carelessly.

“Easy” he says making Harry whine and wiggle his hips biting on his lips and inviting Louis to take a taste.

Louis bends on his knees, in between Harry’s luscious thighs. He sucks a bruise just on the inside close to his dick, Harry holding on to Louis’ hair pulling gently.

“Lou I need-“He can’t even finish his sentence writhing on the couch, his eyes rolling back and mouth gaping open, the sweets moans filling the air.

Louis runs his tongue along his abdomen stopping and pressing kisses on the laurel tattoos on his hips.

“You are so beautiful baby” Louis continues to leave kisses, occasionally sucking a bit just to hear Harry moan his name and push his hips up desperate for Louis’ mouth to reach lower.

“I’ve got you love” Louis presses his hands on his thighs just to see the indents on them, so Harry can still feel him when it’s over. He reaches over to kiss Harry then ducks back to kiss his nipples something that can never go unnoticed, so hard and begging to be sucked on. Harry has the crease by his eyebrows but he’s staring at Louis, his thighs trembling and breathing rugged making his chest raise and fall rapidly.

“Please” he begs as Louis grabs a hold of his dick, throbbing and leaking with pre come. He licks like a damn popsicle tasting Harry’s sweet come on his tongue. He sucks on the head, Harry holding on the sofa and grounding his feet to the floor trying not to buck up in Louis’ mouth.

Louis pops off licking his lips watching Harry in a total mess sprawled out on the sofa.

“Turn over” Harry practically mewls but complies. He cocks his ass sitting on his knees on this small sofa. Louis is grinning and he couldn’t help but send his hand across Harry’s perky little ass making the boy jump in surprise but moaning and pushing back encouraging Louis to do it again.

“Plenty of time for that baby but right now I want to taste you. It’s been too long don’t you think?”

“Yes da-“Louis puts his hand over Harry’s mouth stopping him from saying what he was about to.

He shakes his head making Harry nod settling back on his knees Louis spreads his cheeks apart glancing at his pretty little hole after months of jacking off and crying by himself in hotel rooms. He doesn’t waste any time licking a long stripe up making Harry bend his back so more of his ass is presented in Louis’ face.

“Louis please” Louis licks with encouragement cooing at Harry rocking back lightly taking his cock in his hands and stroking lazily. Louis pushes inside feeling the stretch and warmth envelope his tongue, Harry’s skin is on fire, he’s sweating as he drops his head on the chair trying to catch his breathe. Louis pushes a finger scissoring Harry’s entrance so it’s wider, gradually adding another when Harry greedily grinds and clenches around his fingers. Before Louis even gets the third finger in Harry is doubling over groaning out loud before coming hard in his fist, Louis is still pumping his fingers in and out of Harry using his spit to make the glide easier. Harry is cursing but still rocking back because Louis hasn’t stopped fucking him with his tongue or fingers. His over sensitive cock twitches lightly begging for more as Louis pushes his trousers down tugging at his own hard cock a few times.

“Let me, let me” Harry begs abandoning his post and changing positions so drastically turning on the couch to take Louis’ cock in his mouth. He works him up really fast bobbing his head and taking most of it down. Louis is brushing his hair off his beautiful face, Harry is staring back at him nodding that it was okay. He starts off slow moving forward, more of his dick sliding down Harry’s throat but he doesn’t flinch, he opens up more taking it like a champ. His lips are red, his eyes are shining, his cheeks are blotched, he looks so ruined, Louis ruined this boy and he likes it.

He picks up his pace fucking hard into Harry’s open mouth, he splutters and his throats burns but when Louis backs off so he can take a breath Harry holds onto him knitting his eyebrows and making a vague noise in his throat that can be interpreted as _don’t stop_.

Harry gaggles sending the vibrating to his cock and that’s what sends Louis over the edge coming hard in Harry’s mouth. He swallows all of it before letting go of Louis and flopping on the ground. Louis does the same, bonelessly they lie there next to each other, breathing coming back to normal and the bliss turning once again into silence. Louis can sense the change in atmosphere, after the arousal died so did the mood hence once again bringing them back to the same old situation as they were in before.

“We still have so much to talk about” It’s Harry who talks first turning so he can face Louis.

“I know”

“I’m not going to do this if you’re just going to leave me again”

“That’s the point though right? I could never leave you even if I try”

“You’re all I ever want”

“And you’re all I ever want” Louis presses a small kiss to his lips making his lovely dimples come out on display.

“I talked to Jeff he can get everything sorted I promise” It only occurred to him that he still hasn’t told Harry about the tell all interview which was basically an autobiography of how he became a fucking father.

“I’m afraid it’s too late”

“What? Why?” Harry shifts so he could hold Louis’ face in his hands. He kisses his cheeks then his nose just feeling Louis once again.

“They tricked me but we can fight this but I need you with me”

“I’m always here for you Lou that’s all I’ve been trying to tell you. I’ll never leave you”

“At the time I just thought if we weren’t together then maybe I didn’t have to go through that”

“I think with anything that happens they are still going to put you through hell Louis”

“I just can’t do this on my own”

“You have me baby I promise” Harry places a kiss on his forehead.

It’s still a long way to go but Harry is certain in his mind that not even God can keep Louis away from him.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave feedback, it's always nice hearing from you :) 
> 
> Till then...


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